Parenting your strong-willed child when emotions are amplified
Parenting is a journey filled with love, joy, and moments of challenge. When you have a strong-willed child, it's like experiencing all of these emotions on a more intense level.
There's a beautiful tension between wanting your child to feel loved and accepted for exactly who they are while also hoping they will learn to be respectful and kind to you and others. You want them to embrace their uniqueness, yet you also desire to instill values and behaviour that will serve them well in life.
But, let's be honest, it's not always easy. There are moments when you find yourself saying "yes" because you want to empower them and honor their autonomy. However, that very "yes" might lead to challenging situations where you're being yelled at, your seat is being kicked in the car, or you're being tugged at during a supermarket visit. It can be overwhelming, leaving you uncertain about how to navigate these moments while ensuring that both you and your child feel respected.
And oh, the art of saying "no" with a strong-willed child! They can come back at you with multiple reasons why you should say "yes," and sometimes it feels like they are four going on fourteen! Sound familiar?
I know it can be frustrating and exhausting. There are days when you wonder if you'll ever get it right if you'll strike that balance between fostering their independence and guiding them to make good choices.
But here's the hope: You are not alone in this journey. When my son was 2 years old, I felt all of these challenges too. Now that he is 14, we are seeing the rewards of maintaining his strong-willed spirit and the respect and empathy he has for himself and others.
The key is learning to set healthy boundaries with love and compassion - it is a skill that takes time, but it's a skill you can develop, and it’s so worth it. It's not about controlling your child but rather teaching them self-control, emotional regulation, and the value of their uniqueness.
Seeing each day as an opportunity to learn and grow together and celebrate the wins, no matter how small. And when things don’t go as planned (which will happen!), being gentle with yourself.
With your strength and leadership, your strong-willed child will thrive and take their leadership and creativity into the world to make it a better place.
Much love,
Dina