Unlocking connection: understanding your child's behavior through a new lens

When my son was 2, I'd see him push his 4-year-old brother or grab a toy away from him. These unexpected actions puzzled me. I'd think, how could my child, who I raise with care and thoughtfulness, act so inconsiderately?

I'd stare at him and silently wonder, 'Who are you?'

Of course, there were delightful moments too. He'd surprise me with the biggest hug or a smart remark that amazed me.

But on a day-to-day basis, he'd be the kid I'd try to engage in an activity, hoping for a moment to get something done. Yet, just a minute later, he'd return to ask me something or ask to play, even after I explained I was cooking dinner.

I wished I could play, but everyone's gotta eat (hangry is a real thing!)

More often than not, our children reach out to connect with us. They use their behavior and words, sometimes not in the most pleasant ways.

In our busy lives, we might miss simple chances to connect.

One of my clients, Sandra, faces this. She has two kids. With her first, things seemed easy. She'd explained, and her son understood. Then her daughter came, and despite explaining, it felt like her words fell on deaf ears. She'd repeat herself, exhausted by the repetition.

Why does this happen?

We often see our kids through our own experiences and upbringing. Yet, there are different angles to see their actions from, ones that can ease our frustration and help them feel understood.

Fast-forward to the future, these children grow into teenagers who, when understood, find healthier ways to express themselves. They become adults who feel alive with purpose and meaning.

If your child's behavior feels unfamiliar or particularly challenging, try to look through a different lens. Explore if there's another way to understand them, one that eases your stress and lets them feel heard.

Much love,

Dina