Gender Parity and Happier Parenting Go Hand in Hand

We’ve been honing the gender parity conversation for a number of years and data produced by the World Economic Forum in January 2024, indicates it will be 131 years before we resemble anything near gender parity. 

I read a post about a mum who started her LinkedIn post, “I’m Amy, I’m a parent and I don’t belong here on LinkedIn.” 

It struck a chord with me and so many other parents. About how our perceived value in professional spaces suddenly diminishes the moment we become a parent.  

It confounds me that here we are in 2024, and we still diminish the value of a parent. 

It almost makes me laugh (not funny haha, but ludicrous haha…) because every person who hires, makes salary decisions, chooses how to shape their teams and their company, was once a CHILD, raised by a PARENT (and is often also parenting a child of their own).  So how can they not get the disparity?! 

But in those companies, of which there are still too many, that discriminate against parents (and other carers), they’ve either had an experience that devalued the parenting they received, they were not raised by a parent that embodied the value of parenting or another reason that has stopped them from acknowledging the value of parenting, and instead they are conforming to a wider norm of living in a society that still largely undervalues a parent.  

And as much as it can feel hopeless to move the needle on this, there’s so much we can do. 

I believe can be happier parents and address parity at the same time. 

Don’t believe me? Check this out…

Are you doing any of the following things:

1. Getting to end of each of day and unable to name at least 5 valuable things you did as a parent today. 

2. Measuring your achievement as a parent in comparison to a remunerated role? Society, or maybe your own beliefs might tell you that you're not being paid therefore it’s not as valuable as a paid role.  

3. Being the badass capable parent that can do everything and it's quicker for you to do it, rarely allowing the space for others to contribute?

4. Playing the “martyr parent” who believes that if one partner is bringing in more money, then all the house, family and child-rearing should fall to you?

I did every one of these. And they left me feeling exhausted, never feeling good enough and miserable. 

I admit, the words out of my mouth were, parenting is the most precious job in the world. But internally my mind and externally my actions, were far from aligned with this statement.  And by doing these 4 things (and I’m sure I did other things too), I was disembodied from the value of my parenting role. 

The less I valued my parenting role, the more I’ve been a part of the gender parity problem and I didn’t know it. And worse, my children were witnessing all of this. 

I would like to share with you what I did to become part of the solution. And if you’re a parent here reading this, then I know you are part of the solution too.

1. Value yourself enough to know how important each nappy change, each time you push a swing, each time you comfort your sobbing child you are contributing to your child’s life AND our world. Instead of believing you did very little or sweet f* all of value today. 

2. Value your parenting achievements without the condition of remuneration.  

3. Know the value of your role is infinite. Parenting is the biggest leadership role of our lives. You are literally raising and shaping our next generation. 

4. All parents becoming aware of and addressing the “invisible load” that comes with becoming a parent, so no one parent alone shoulders the bulk of the responsibilities. 

5. Empower your children. All genders think about the house and family needs, clean the benches, cook meals for everyone, fold the clothes, buy uniforms, sign up to activities, bring in and pack away the shopping.. and all the things, so they cannot unsee the overwhelming invisible load and can take ownership instead. And take this capability into their future relationships. 

Sharing is caring. Problems shared are halved. And the weight on any one parent becomes a little lighter and a little happier. Everyone's part is valued and not taken for granted. 

We make changes in small increments. But until our actions match the words we place on the value of parenting, we will be stagnant. 

Parents that embody the value of all genders in their home are likely leaders and decision makers who embody the value of all genders in their workplace. They raise children who embody the value of all genders, who become future leaders and decision-makers that embody the value of all genders. 

That’s how we help close the gap quicker. Working together. 

It’s a win-win-win. 

Much love

Dina

PS Here’s Amy’s Linked In Post if you'd like to read it. 

PPS If you and your partner are not on the same page or you find yourself repeating the same patterns of behaviour despite being aware of how it is adding to your daily stress, consider joining the waitlist for Stressed to Best Parent method. Doors will open again in a couple of months and if you’re on the waitlist you’ll be the first to know.