The 3 most important truths I’ve learned as a parent
I’m in my 15th year of parenting and I’m really proud of the parent I am and the relationship I have with my children. Here are the 3 most important truths I’ve learned as a parent during this time.
Firstly, the most important person I need to focus on in parenting is me. How I’m forgiving of me, how kindly am I talking to myself, how compassionately I am communicating with others. How much I own my imperfections. How I calm myself when I’m triggered. How often do I choose courage over comfort.
Because children watch and absorb EVERYTHING. Focusing on ourselves is the greatest path for parenting.
Secondly, parenting is a journey I embark on WITH my child. I don’t have to have it all figured out. I don’t have to have all the answers. I need to be ready to ask questions that will help us move forward, like What can I learn here? What can I do better? And learn and grow from there.
Often as parents we feel like we should just KNOW what to do. The truth is we’re figuring it out as we go. Every new stage with our child brings new learnings.
Instead of treating it like you’ve failed when you don’t know something, what if we just said to ourselves, we’re learning too and that’s okay.
And finally, the most important skill in parenting in my view is “acceptance.” Being able to meet reality wherever it’s at. It goes something like .. I’m feeling anxious, my child’s having panic attacks, my child’s having a tantrum, I’m not communicating with my child in a way they can hear me right now. My child’s unwell I have to take the day off work. I’m unwell, I can’t look after my child as well as I want to today.
Sometimes (often) we want things to be different, we wish they were different, but the truth is they’re not. They are as they are right now. That doesn’t mean they can’t change or get better. It means that the reality is as it is the in this current moment. And in order to deal with it the healthiest way possible, acceptance about how you feel about any situation puts you in a frame of mind where, instead of feeling confused, guilty or unsure, you feel clear and confident to make choices as a parent.
That’s it, that’s my 3 parenting truths. Do any of the 3 resonate with you?
Much love
Dina
If you’re ready for your next stage of growth as a parent and there’s some goals you’d like to work on to refine a skill, build confidence or just simply to enjoy parenting more, I invite you to book in a free parent leadership strategy call with me, where you can experience some coaching, talk about your goals and the path to get there and decide whether coaching is right for you. Click here to book in your session today.