When Physical Pain Has an Emotional Root

I’ve believed for years that our emotional wellbeing is deeply linked to our physical health. I’ve seen the evidence... in myself, in my clients, and in my family. But what I experienced recently took that understanding to an entirely new level.

Now, I’m not saying every physical symptom has an emotional root. But often, there’s more going on than meets the eye.

Take my uncle, for instance. He married someone who was so critical of his family that, over time, he stopped seeing his own parents and siblings. He tried to speak up... but eventually gave up, staying silent to keep the peace. Not long after, he developed mouth cancer and had part of his tongue removed. He literally lost his voice. It was as though his body was mirroring the emotional reality he was living.

Sometimes our bodies carry what we cannot... or do not... say.

So what happened to me?

A few weeks ago, I was chosen... out of hundreds of applicants... to work alongside one of the most respected leaders in the coaching world. I was thrilled. My husband and I had long conversations. We mapped out how we could make it work with the kids. We felt ready. I said yes.

Two days before I was meant to start, I fell incredibly sick. One of those can’t-get-out-of-bed days. Thankfully, between my team of trusted GPs, naturopaths, and traditional remedies, I rallied and showed up for Day 1.

But then, two weeks later... I got the flu. Bedridden again.

Once I began recovering, I figured I’d do some light housework. I bent down and heard a “click, click, click”... and my back froze. A disc bulge. An emergency visit to the physio confirmed it. I could barely move.

Three health setbacks in under three weeks.

Something was trying to get my attention.

And then came the question that shifted everything.

My new boss called to check in. She asked if I was okay... and then she gently asked: “Do you think there’s an emotional component to this?”

I almost laughed. I had been asking myself the exact same thing.

What followed was one of the most honest, supportive conversations I’ve ever had. Together, we explored what was going on beneath the surface.

And then it hit me.

My body was trying to protect me. At a deep, unconscious level, I was resisting a job that... while exciting and prestigious... just wasn’t aligned with the life I want for my family. The time commitment was more than we had realised. The extra evenings, the travel, the emotional bandwidth... it all added up to something that pulled me further away from what I value most—being present with my children.

And my body was screaming the message I hadn’t been ready to face.

The hardest... and most loving... decision

My boss said something beautiful that day:
"Self-love is when you do what’s best for yourself while still caring about others. Selfishness is doing what’s best for yourself with little or no care for others."

We realised the job wasn’t a good fit... not just for me, but for her, too. She needed someone who could fully lean in. I needed to stay rooted in what mattered most.

And when we made that decision... together... relief coursed through me. I cried. Big, cleansing tears. My body let go. My whole being exhaled.

Listening to your body is an act of leadership.

It’s not always easy. It can feel inconvenient, confusing, or even terrifying. But when you honour what your body is saying, you open yourself to clarity and alignment.

For me, that meant recognising where I had pushed too far. I don’t feel like I gave something up—I made a conscious choice to honour my priorities. And I know another path will open that’s more aligned for me and my family.

Because when you choose what’s right for you... you often choose what’s right for everyone in the long run.

Have you ever had your body send you a message you couldn’t ignore?
Maybe an illness, a backache, or an unexplained fatigue?

Take a moment today and ask: What might my body be trying to tell me?
If you feel called, share your reflections with me—I’d love to hear them.