Parenting a New Generation - The Dance Between Masculine and Feminine

What??! What on earth…?!

If you’ve never heard of the masculine and the feminine energies, it may sound like a far-out concept. 

But let me explain why we need to know about these energies and how knowing about them eases the pressure and stress in parenting and sets up our children to THRIVE.

This is going to be a long post, so grab a cuppa and settle in…
I believe we all come into this world with natural abilities. Some are good at listening, some singing, some teaching, some mechanics. 

Whatever these natural abilities, they are present at birth. And whether or not we hold onto and nurture these abilities is determined by the environment we are in and largely the way we are parented. 

With these natural abilities (some like to call it our spiritual side), we also have our mind and body. 

Our mind is our mindset, what we believe, what we say yes to, what we say no to, what we worry about. Our past memories, our future goals. These are all minds. 

Our body is our physical body. Arms legs, organs, muscles etc. all make up our body aka our vessels for this life.

Our spirit is the part of us that feels called to do something, we feel in flow, we enjoy it and get energy from that thing. And we are intrinsically driven to learn more and grow with it. 

When we consider that our children are already born with natural abilities, our job then isn’t to shape them into who we want them to be. It’s our job to remove as many obstacles as possible in their mindset and body, so they can BE who they are. Often expressed as their authentic self. 

This has been my philosophy for the past 12 years as I’ve raised my children in this way. And the results so far have been remarkable and they are only 15 and 17. I don’t say this to gloat. I say this because it has blown me away - their motivation, self-responsibility, critical thinking, resilience, courage, self-awareness, healthy body, healthy emotions and the results go on - and I want to help parents who want this for their children to know what I’ve done to nurture their mind and body. 

This is a very different approach to parenting and one that requires a different understanding of how to parent to nurture our child’s mind and body and move out of the way of their spirit.

And I believe it’s what our children need to be prepared for the future of work. If you’d like to read more about how I made that connection, I wrote about this in my book.

So how did I uncover this approach?

I was in a career that was burning me out. I knew I needed to do something differently and as I went off on my journey, I did a course that changed my life.

It was a course about understanding how my mind works, and how I have come to believe everything I do.

How 95% of my life is running on autopilot and has been shaped by the way I was parented, significant life experiences and the environment I grew up in. Largely shaped at an age where I had no say in HOW I was being shaped. 

As I became more and more aware of the ways I’d been conditioned, I started to feel lighter, and more present, naturally wanting to exercise and eat healthier for the love of myself. I wanted to help others more, I became more aware of my impact on the planet and everything connected with me.

I went from feeling anxious and depressed to feeling elated and lighter most of the time. It is a profound feeling. 

So I became obsessive about how I could raise my children to experience this feeling in their childhood and life. I wanted their world to feel full of possibility and magic as well as be grounded and responsible.

That’s where I started to learn about masculine and feminine energies.  

What are the masculine and feminine energies in children?
Firstly, masculine energy does not refer to just males and feminine energy does not refer to just females. To be balanced, ideally, we have a healthy expression of both energies within us. 

The masculine energy is all about: building self-worth, resilience, courage, a growth mindset, instilling intentional values and skills to cook, manage money, do sports, work, set goals etc..  
The feminine energy is all about: nurturing self-love, self-trust, emotional intelligence, curiosity, creativity and intuition. 

Together the masculine and feminine energies allow the child the foundation to follow their natural abilities/passions/purpose. 

So, when we hold ourselves to the understanding we are not here to determine who our child is, and we focus on nurturing their foundations so they can be free to be who they are, they thrive, and we thrive in knowing we are doing our best as their parent.
Let me be clear, it is not the easy path (at first) nor the perfect path. It requires a lot of self-awareness to understand how we bring our past conditioning into the way we parent.  It also requires us to get comfortable in the messiness of imperfection that working through our “stuff” brings to the surface. 

It is also not the common path, so there may be very few examples of people who have taken this path around you. 

12 years on, I'm realising it is an ongoing journey of unlearning… 

However, learning strategies and techniques to work through our own conditioning and limit its impact as we parent, as well as learning ways to listen more closely to who our children are -  is what opens us up to be more in tune with ourselves and more in tune with our children.  

I mentioned my children are thriving - both are in the public school system in Australia. They have been raised very intentionally since they were 2 and 4. One is now an award-winning filmmaker at 16 and the other is in the top 2 all round academic success in selective education for his year.  

I tell you this not because these achievements define them but because they don’t. Their worth is not attached to their success, so they feel free to pursue wherever their curiosity takes them.

I don’t know who they are here to be and what they’re here to do, I just know my job is to help nurture their foundations and do my best to get out of the way of who they are. 

This is the masculine and feminine dance.

I know it’s a lot to take in. I’ve debated whether to share this with you.

But the truth is, I want to share this with you and other parents who want another way. A more balanced way than getting caught up in feeling like we need to enroll our child in every activity, be their best at every subject and get them invited to every party, or they will miss out.

There’s so much more to nurturing them to live their best life and it’s less about focusing on them and more about focusing on us. And waaaay less stressful in the long term. 

You may have some questions. I'm here to answer them. I would love to hear your reflections too. 

Much love

Dina xxx