The One Thing That Helps Kids Feel Safe Enough to Be Themselves
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that at the heart of everything I share about parenting is one core belief: the connection we have with our children shapes their ability to be the fullest expression of themselves.
I never planned on becoming a parenting coach. In fact, as some of you know, I trained as a Chartered Accountant. But then I got a taste of what it felt like to truly be myself—my fullest expression. And it wasn’t feeling burnt out and dissociated in my accounting roles.
One moment that changed everything came when I was thrown in the deep end with an offer for a Change Manager role. I had no experience—just gut instinct and a supportive boss who saw something in me. The team I was asked to lead was deeply change-resistant, siloed, and disconnected from the wider organisation. But after a few months, something shifted.
They started to communicate better. They met deadlines as a team rather than just working in isolation. They were happier, more motivated, and more resilient in the face of change. They no longer resisted change, they embraced it. And most importantly, they no longer felt like outsiders; they felt a sense of belonging and purpose within the organisation.
It all came down to one core principle: they felt seen, heard, and understood.
I prioritised connection with each person, not just the heads of teams. I listened -really listened. I shared their feedback verbatim, without twisting it into what I thought it should mean. I stepped into their shoes.
And in doing so, I realised something profound..
There is an essence inside every one of us that just wants to feel safe enough to surface. Safe enough to be expressed fully. Safe enough to know it won’t be shut down, dismissed, or reshaped into something more "acceptable" for others.
And this safety starts in our homes. With parenting.
When a child feels truly seen, heard, and understood, their nervous system relaxes.
They feel safer. More secure. And when a child feels safe, their need to push back, test boundaries, or seek control through resistance naturally decreases.
Instead of using their energy to fight for connection, they feel free to cooperate. Not because they are being forced to, but because they want to.
When kids feel seen, they feel respected. And when they feel respected, they are far more likely to respect others—including you.
Every time we see our child for who they are, rather than who we think they should be…
Every time we listen to their words (and the ones they struggle to say)…
Every time we create a space where they can be fully themselves without fear of rejection…
We are not only shaping their future confidence and self-worth—we are also making parenting so much easier.
A child who feels secure in their connection with you is a child who is more willing to:
> Cooperate without constant power struggles
> Express their emotions in healthier ways
> Communicate openly instead of shutting down
> Trust you and come to you when they need help
And ultimately, this leads to a home that feels lighter. With fewer battles. More mutual respect. And more ease in your everyday interactions.
Much love,
Dina
PS If you want to learn the skills of helping children feel deeply seen and you're ready to roll up your sleeves to do the work, I'd love to help you. Book in a call with me here to see if the Stressed to Best Parent method would work for you and your family in helping you be the best parent you can be.
PPS A wonderful new documentary, SEEN, explores this concept beautifully. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend finding a screening near you.