What’s Good for You is Good for Them

Parents get told on a regular basis to look after themselves. That they can’t look after their children unless they are looking after themselves.

And for some this is straight forward and easy. For most, it’s a challenge to put your needs first.

And there are many reasons for this:

– Where in the world do you find the time?
– When you find the time, how do you muster up the energy?
– And when you’ve mustered up the energy, how do you keep it going on a regular basis?

It sounds like I’m taking about good balanced food and regular exercise. But really what I’m talking about is those, yes AND looking after your mind.

Is it good to be thinking…

You have to put everyone else’s needs first?
Your health matters less than your child’s, so you’ll skip the doctor’s appointment again?
Your energy levels can lag as long as your child gets to their activities?
Your partner can have a break, but you don’t have time to?

I was the person and the mum who gave everything to everyone. My needs were last. And what I realised was it had nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with the way my mind was wired.

“Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.”

― Aristotle

My mindset (which we formulate largely by the time we are 7) was programmed in a way that if I didn’t help and/or be seen to be helping, it meant I was lazy and was less valuable as a person. This particular mindset programming made sure that I would be the last person standing when it came to helping others even if it was to my own detriment, like when I was sick, exhausted or I was missing out on things like hanging out with the rest of the family in the lounge room.

Today I can be there for my children, by being there for me first  (new  programming).   I’ve slowed down and I’ve seen my children take naps or take reading breaks because I do!

What is good for you is good for them. What beliefs do you need to question?