The Weight Off Your Shoulders: Strategies for Reducing the Mental Load
There were times when my children were younger that I felt like I was doing most of the thinking about how they were playing with friends…were they being kind, were they being supportive, were they being treated fairly.
I also felt like I was the only one thinking about the food that needed to be in the fridge so we could prepare dinner that night (and most nights). And thinking of the types of food that everyone would eat.
Add to this school uniforms, activities, connecting with extended family and the list goes on.
For the large part, most of this fell to me by default because of the circumstances we found ourselves in. It was more of an unconscious pattern we had fallen into.
The invisible workload that comes with managing a family, running a household, and trying to juggle all the other things in life is known as the mental load. And the mental load can lead to overwhelm, stress, and burnout and negatively impacts the whole family.
And when I felt like I carried most of the mental load, I'd collapse into an exhausted heap each night and would dread having to face the next day. I also felt growing resentment towards my partner because of it.
On average, we lose 36 waking hours to mental load each week, 9 of which relate to home and family-related matters. That is more than one working day per week!
After getting some solid strategies in place to alleviate the mental load, the rewards are enormous. I feel a greater sense of relief and more time and energy for ME - to relax and look after my needs. I feel less anxious, happier more of the time, and have a greater sense of balance overall. And I feel like I have a stronger bond and communication with my partner. I feel like we’re working as a real team and I'm definitely more present and engaged with my children.
We were finally modelling healthy relationship dynamics for our children!
And I want all of this for you.
If you're feeling stressed and overwhelmed with the mental load, here are three things you can do to alleviate your mental load today.
Openly communicate with your partner about the mental load. By sharing your needs, expectations, and concerns you will have more chances to figure out solutions for your family.
Delegate or outsource wherever possible. Maybe it’s a meal delivery service 1-2 nights a week or a cleaning service once a fortnight. Every little bit helps.
Take care of YOU. When you look after yourself, everything feels better, even the hard stuff. Set boundaries. Reach out for support. Speak with friends. Read books.
The goal is to create a collaborative environment where both parents feel aligned with sharing the mental load and working together on the strategic direction of your family.
Much love,
Dina