The upside-down advice to raising a rebel

You may know this child. She may even be a part of your family.

She is determined to do the things that annoy you, again and again, and AGAIN.

She can be the sweetest child in one moment and her passion for something she likes to do is contagious.

Then there's this side to her that can't stop taking a game too far with her sister, to the point where she ends up in tears.

She won't slide across the seat in the car and makes siblings climb over her and when you're leaving the house, the shop, supermarket, school, or a friend's house, she. never. comes. until. she. is. ready.

You stand on the sidelines, shaking your head from side to side muttering, "can you believe she is doing it again?"

Angela came to me concerned about her husband's response to their daughter crushing her spirit. Her daughter would continually go against requests and her husband, John, felt disobeyed and angry.

John was worried that their daughter wouldn't fit in at school and work, later in life, if she didn't know how to follow simple instructions. The resentment between them was growing.

So I explained that the chances are this child is your budding entrepreneur, your next inventor, or innovator. Being different from most others, being able to work out strategies (to wind others up!), and doing what they choose regardless of what others are doing.

All game-changing qualities if nurtured in a resourceful way.

So how do you spot a Game Changer and then encourage one, without going crazy?

A London-based group led by Dr. John Mervyn-Smith led research into the anatomy of a game changer and discovered there were two main attributes - Imaginativeness and Productive Obsessionality.

Imaginativeness is creative thinking associated with the desire to "do things differently.

Productive Obsessionality is the ability to become highly focused. It is about getting “in the flow” and having a healthy, all-absorbing passion that helps to solve problems.

Imaginativeness and creativity are often associated with being difficult and unreliable.

Equally, obsessionality is often associated with self-defeating compulsive behaviors.

To be both original and dedicated to a practical outcome in work is indeed rare.

So what can you do as a parent to increase your child's abilities?

Keep your perspective in check. It's hard to see the bigger game field when you are in the trenches, dealing with the day-to-day dramas. For children like these, the playing field can be a lonely place because their behaviours can often do the opposite of what they intend and push people away.

It is important to develop flexibility in your parenting style that fosters creativity and encourages children to explore their potential. Flexibility in parenting style gives children the freedom to express themselves and to make mistakes without fear of criticism.

Stand firm in your values like being kind, honest, and being considerate, whilst acknowledging and encouraging the behaviours that will eventually help them find their crowd. This will let them know you see them on the playing field, you are right there with them, and that they are not alone.

It also provides them with structure and guidance to help them make good decisions. With a little flexibility in your parenting style, children can thrive and develop the skills they need to succeed in their lives.