The Importance of Self-Compassion in Parenting

There are some times in parenting when no one can do anything right by me. 

Not me, not the kids, and not my partner. 

Do you ever have those times?

I feel incredibly triggered today, my throat is tight, my mind is racing and if I speak, it won’t be pretty.

In fact, earlier today it wasn’t pretty… when I was having yet another school holiday technology battle with my teen.

I’m not proud of my reaction (there may have been an F-bomb or two) but you know what…I forgive myself.

I forgive myself because beating myself up only makes my reactions worse.

I forgive myself because I know that I'm imperfect and I make mistakes.

I forgive myself because I know that my reactive self appears now only maybe 5-10% of the time.

It used to be 90-95% of the time.

You read that correctly. I parented with anxiety, stress, nervousness, tension, frustration, and annoyance approximately 90-95% of the time.

And I’m so grateful to have turned myself around for the most part. I know I parent in a way I feel aligned with most of the time.

But we are all human and we all get into funks (including our kids), so it’s important we show them what self-compassion looks like.

The power of self-compassion is often overlooked in our society. When we fail to forgive ourselves, we can become trapped in a cycle of self-criticism and negative self-talk. However, by forgiving yourself and learning to accept your imperfections, you can open the door to greater self-compassion. 

The truth is, self-compassion is a key self-leadership skill to allow us to recover and access better parts of ourselves quicker and to get back to feeling more aligned in our parenting. When parents show compassion and understanding for themselves, it allows them to provide the same for their children. 

Not only does self-compassion promote better communication between parents and their children, but it also helps foster a sense of security and well-being in both parties. This is why it is so important to understand the importance of self-compassion when it comes to parenting and how it can be beneficial to both us and our child.

And for me today, self-compassion was reminding me of how far I’ve come in how I parent. And giving myself some space to feel whatever it is I’m feeling and not need to judge it or question it.

Today, I need to allow my feelings to be.

If this is you today or any day, choose self-compassion because we get to share that skill with our children too.

From my heart to yours,

Dina