Speaking Up For Yourself

I had an interesting experience on a night out last night.

I ordered a cocktail that I later realised had an incorrect ingredient in it. I had drank most of but didn’t enjoy it and then knew why – because someone had put apple juice into the container for the coconut/lime/mint juice and mixed that into my cocktail by mistake.
In my mind, I was clear – I had ordered and paid for a cocktail. The ingredients were incorrect and therefore it was the bar tenders responsibility to correct it to what was ordered and paid for.

Sounds simple doesn’t it. And yet why is it, often the most simple things, like sending an order back can be the most difficult to do?

I really understand why now.. There was a time when I would have felt embarrassed to go up and ask for something to be corrected. I distinctly remember a time at a restaurant in Melbourne, the wine tasted like it had gone off and in fact, it turned out that it had.  I said to myself, ”I don’t want to be a nuisance” “it’s ok – I’ll just drink it, that’ll be easier and safer than saying anything and embarrassing myself” “what will the waiter think of me if I go up and ask for it to be replaced?” “Why would he do that for me?” And the list would go and so I sat there and forced myself to drink it and not speak up for myself.  Fortunately, someone else did speak up and it was replaced. Upon reflection this mind chatter was so disempowering!
What does your mind make out of any given situation and how close is that mind map to the reality of the situation?

My mind chatter used to take me further and further away from the reality of the situation.

So what was different about last night? There was a different mind chatter – it was the mind chatter I deliberately installed in myself a few years ago when I was coached – only now I’d practiced it so much it was an unconscious habit and it went something like, “what’s the reality of what’s happened here?” “what is in within my power to do, to rectify situation?” “whatever the outcome, I’m ok to ask” And off I went to the bar..

Are you aware of your mind chatter? Does your mind chatter take you away from the reality of a situation? Are the results of your mind chatter empowering or disempowering?

Choose EMPOWERING!