Tiny Parenting Moments That Create Big Impact
Leading a team or leading a child is never just a once-a-week, one-hour meeting. More often than not, it's leading in each interaction, each situation, and each moment — sometimes as little as one or two minutes at a time.
The cumulative effect of these moments is what I call building a relationship in the time in-between — or leading in the cracks.
What Are the Cracks?
The cracks of time between home and school.
The cracks of time when dinner is simmering but not quite ready.
The cracks of time while one sibling waits on the sidelines at sport.
These micro-moments, when noticed and used with intention, can have a powerful impact. They are the moments that whisper to our children: You matter. I see you. I’m here with you.
A Tiny Moment, A Big Connection
Today, my youngest and I were picking up my eldest from drama. Just as I was about to start the car, my youngest opened the door again and said, “Hang on a minute.” He jumped out with “dancing magnets” in his hand and began testing their sound in different directions.
I watched him curiously, mindful that we had seven minutes to get to drama. When he got back in the car, I asked what he was doing. “I wanted to see which way the sound of the magnets was being carried. It goes over the road, towards our neighbour.”
I have to admit, I was amazed. Sound direction? That’s not something I’ve ever tested in my life.
There was a time when that extra moment would have caused me to snap. We’re in a rush! Get back in the car! But I’ve done the work on my self-leadership. And that shift — not perfect, but present — has changed everything.
When You Lead Yourself, You Lead the Moment
As working parents, time often feels stacked against us. But when we lead ourselves, we’re more able to lead the moment… and create the kind of connection that builds lasting memories.
Here are four ways to lead yourself — especially in the cracks:
Be curious
There’s usually logic behind your child’s actions. It may not be convenient, but it’s often meaningful. Curiosity helps you see what’s beneath the behaviour and opens space for connection and learning.
Be calm in the chaos
If your body is rushing and your mind is too, there’s no room for presence. When things get busy, calm your nervous system. A quick reset — like noticing colours or sounds — can bring you back to the moment and into a responsive state.
Be clear on your values
When life gets hectic, we default to our values. If you’ve clarified what matters most to you and your family, it’s easier to know when to pause, when to pivot, and when to draw the line. In our family, curiosity is high — and so is safety. That’s how I knew I could let the magnet moment play out, but also when it would be time to step in and go pick up his brother.
Be compassionate
You won’t lead perfectly every time. And that’s okay. Self-compassion is your best tool for staying out of guilt and staying in the present. The more you criticise yourself, the less mental energy you have for the moment right in front of you. Forgive yourself and try again. That’s the most powerful modelling you can do.
Want practical tools to bring calm and connection into your busy days? The Stressed to Best Parent Method is designed for parents who want to lead with presence, even in the cracks of time.