Leading and Letting Go
Someone once told me that the moment you give birth to a child is the start of the process of letting go as a parent. This comment was profound to me.
In a workplace, the moment you become a leader, your comfort with delegation becomes the process of letting go.
As I reflect on my parenting journey, each stage has been a journey of leading and being comfortable to let go.
Preparing yourself for things like:
Birth – physically, mentally, emotionally
A child that begins to move independently
A child that goes to pre-school
A child that has their first sleepover at grandparents or with cousins
A child that goes to school
A child that goes around the neighbourhood independently with friends
A teen going out with their first girlfriend or boyfriend
A teen going on their first overseas trip without you
And the list goes on.
This morning I dropped off my two boys to do their first single 45-minute public bus trip across the city on their own (we moved house across the city on the weekend). They have only done this journey once with me, yesterday. They are 10 years and 12 years. When checking in with them how confident they felt to do this trip on their own, they replied they felt a 10/10.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a healthy dose of vulnerability. My mind was sorting for problems – what if the bus stops and they have to change buses; what if a stranger starts chatting with them, knowing they are on their own and unaccompanied by an adult…
Understanding my motivation to sort for problems, I consciously began focusing on the opposite end of this motivation spectrum – goals: They will gain some independence. Going on their own will boost their confidence. They and I will feel more empowered as a result.
Leadership and in particular leading yourself in these moments is as much about recognising, acknowledging and leading your own thoughts and emotions as it is about leading your child’s.
Leading and letting go is the journey of leadership and parenting.
How do you lead and let go?
